Another question: Would you allow a camo wedding?
The summer wedding season is almost upon us, so this week on The Quest we are going to focus on questions and issues related to wedding ceremonies. I’m starting this off by asking the following questions and providing our church’s policy for each one.
1. Whom will you marry, or whom will you allow to get married at your church building? Must they be members? Must they be believers?
Our church’s wedding policy states, “Weddings at Grandview Park Baptist are a part of the life of our church. It is the church as a community, involved in the life of the couple being married, which affirms the couple’s decision. Since a wedding is performed in the context of the life of our church, only members or regular attendees of at least a period of six months may be married at Grandview Park Baptist.”
2. Do you require those whom you will marry to undergo premarital counseling?
Yes, we require premarital counseling.
3. Are there any other requirements for couples desiring to get married at your church?
Our church’s wedding policy states, “To begin the pre-marital process, the couple should contact the church in order to schedule a time for an initial interview. The Wedding Information Packet will be sent to you in preparation for your interview. At this meeting the Wedding Information Packet will be discussed, appropriate counseling material will be assigned, and counseling appointments will be scheduled. A date may be secured on the church calendar only after the initial interview with the Senior Pastor and the pre-marital counseling has been completed and the wedding approved. All completed Wedding Information Packet agreements and all fees must also be turned in to the church office to secure the date.”
What about your church? How would you answer these questions?
LOL. That kid in the front literally looks like a floating head!
We go a little deeper at our church and very rarely (if ever) will rent the facility out as well. A lot of this has to do with testimony and also the sanctity of marriage.
One of the couple has to be a member (in good standing) and they both must profess to be Christians.
Greg, Great topic. 1. It has been our policy that they must complete counseling with the pastor to his satisfaction. Partway throguh counseling, I had a couple who did not seem to be at all serious about spiritual issues, though professing salvation, and I chose not to do the service. It was painful, but I had to live with my conscience before the Lord. The counseling process takes about 3 or more months. 2. We do not require that they be members, but expect a connection with our church. In an initial interview, we talk about the sanctity of marriage and God’s standards. I have done weddings for college students living out of the area, but whose parents live in our area. Again, the pre marital counseling was a requirement. 3. We do have them sign a document indicating some of our convictions, and that they are living consistently with those convictions. As the time has gone on, I am increasingly willijng to be more selective and to raise our demands. We are putting a “stamp of approval” on these marriages, and that is a serious responsibility.
Great thoughts! Our policies are similar, but it is helpful to have the actual language your church uses.
We do not rent our facility to outsiders for weddings (we have had one wedding from a sister church which needed our facility, and have had one wedding at a larger sister church because our auditorium was too small). While we do not require membership, we do require some type of connection. I may actually revise our policies to reflect your wording!
We do require premarital counseling, which resulted in us not performing a “rushed” wedding for a member. Having the policy helped us handle that situation in an objective, rather than “personality,” manner.
I have turned down numerous weddings for various reasons – most often due to the fact that one of the parties could not give a testimony of salvation. I did do one once where the testimony was not strong, but was stated. I later had the privilege of leading that lady to Christ! It’s a judgment call!
Thanks for bringing up this topic!
I am interested to see how many of your churches allow those who live together to be married at the church. Our church has kept the rule that we will not marry a couple that lives together unless they separate for 6 months.
This has become a heated topic over the past few months as we have had several couples want to get married to so they are no longer living in sin but the church will not let them. We are told that we are being punitive rather than helping them to get into a right situation.
What are your stances at your churches regarding co-habitation and whether or not you will marry a couple.